by P.J. Martin
A study table with a laptop just below the window, the vertical blinds are missing teeth, and dusty. The table is older than you, in its drawers are random papers: receipts, documents of sorts, a torn scrap where you subtracted one number from another, notes to remember to call her back, notes from her that says she loves you and misses you. There is a white mug you have filled with pens that no longer have ink in them. There is a blue lampshade that you had since you were in elementary school, it has a yellow bulb for a reason you have forgotten, her skin looked golden in that light.
Across from the table is your dresser, your socks are not paired, shirts and underwear share one space. Your stereo is on top of it. There are compact disc covers in no logical order, some are empty and some do not have the right disc inside. There is that concert t-shirt in the top dresser that she liked to wear to bed, much too big for her, and she would put on Wes Montgomery and dance. There are shelves of your books above the dresser, there are framed diplomas and awards and trophies and knickknacks: hockey pucks, treasure trolls, seashells, statuettes. There is a picture of you and her at the beach. She is looking away. Perhaps a sailboat caught her attention right before the picture was taken. You take another look at the photo and have a new thought. Maybe then she already knew what she was about to do to you. You turn it face down.
At the far corner of the room is where you rest your head. You have put up flags of the countries you have visited with her, you have not made your bed, your pillowcases need to be washed. So does the duvet. Across is a nightstand, the television is on top of it. On top of that are your alarm clock and a bottle of Nyquil, each night you watch the news. You set your alarm for six o’clock and then you medicate.
Tonight that new thought will make it harder to sleep so you take an extra capful. And when you wake, everything is the same, right where you left them the night before, only difference is one day further apart.
