by Charlie Geer
When they say renewing the papers is less complicated than obtaining the original papers, they are not saying much. Orbiting the earth may be less complicated than obtaining the original papers. Even so, when you hear that renewing the papers is less complicated than obtaining the original papers, you may take heart. In fact you should take heart. In the process of renewing the papers, you will need it.
The first step in renewing the papers involves submitting various papers. These papers include a certificate of good health. The health certificate is purchased at your local tobacconist for a modest fee. After purchasing the certificate — and a carton of Camels, if you like — you will need to visit an authorized physician to have your good health certified. It’s possible you are expecting an actual physical examination, which maybe you could use and even, at such a reasonable price, afford. It’s possible you are thinking the reasonably priced physical is a strong argument in favor of the local health-care system. It is not. For the reasonable price an authorized physician will sign, then stamp, the official certificate of good health. If your name is not easy to spell across languages, you may have some sort of verbal interaction with the physician. Otherwise, probably not.
At this point, with your certificate of good health signed and stamped, you will feel, if not a sense of physical well being, then at least a sense of accomplishment. You are advised to enjoy this sensation for as long as you can. Soon enough, it will be bled out of you, and replaced by something much less agreeable. In fact it is a good idea to have the required ID photo taken at this point in the process, while you are feeling a sense of accomplishment, rather than later in the process, when any photo of you will present a seriously disturbed individual.
[click to continue…]
Tagged as:
Charlie Geer,
Noted Abroad
Reading No Country for Old Men in Puente Genil
by Charlie Geer
This month we expand upon an earlier Noted Abroad installment, providing the full text of a piece that was initially stripped down in the interest of achieving a blog-friendly style. Subsequent events, notably a USA Today interview with romance author Nicholas Sparks, have made a reprise of the material seem appropriate.
The bookstore in Puente Genil has a wide selection of reference books, novels and biographies in Spanish, but, perhaps because no sensible English-speaking traveler would make Puente Genil part of their Andalusian adventure, English titles are few and far between. Even the proprietor isn’t always sure which books-in-English he carries, or where in his store they might be found. If you happen to find one, it is likely to be an American or British novel that has been made into a Hollywood blockbuster, which blockbuster has inspired publishers to repackage the book — NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE! — and send shit-tons of copies, in various languages, out into the world far and wide, so far and so wide that some of them, somehow, land in places like Puente Genil. In short, a thorough combing of the bookshop revealed that if my student Macu wanted to study a novel in English, she would need to choose between Atonement, No Country for Old Men, and The Notebook.
[click to continue…]
Tagged as:
Charlie Geer,
Puente Genil
Matters of Fact
by Charlie Geer
Let’s talk fruit and veggies. I get mine just up the street at Frutería Miryan, where a week’s worth of produce — about half a kilo each of bananas, tangerines, pears and onions, a few avocados, some lettuce and garlic and eggs — normally costs me a little under ten Euros. That’s kind of amazing, especially since most of the goods are brought in fresh from regional farms. I think of the little flecks of chicken poop on the eggs (a hen’s parting shot, as it were) as my freshness guarantee. It occurs to me that the proprietor of Frutería Miryan, a stout, matter-of-fact young woman named Miryan, would probably be puzzled by the “eat local” movement back home in the States. That locally grown produce frequently costs more than produce shipped across oceans and continents, and is often only available one day a week, at a specially staged “farmer’s market,” would no doubt confound her. It certainly confounds me. Back home in South Carolina, shrimp pulled from local waters by local shrimpers tends to be more expensive, by a long shot, than shrimp imported from places like Thailand. I’m guessing this has something to do with economies of scale, all that, but it still seems backasswards.
[click to continue…]
Tagged as:
Charlie Geer,
Noted Abroad,
Spain
Mo Bee, Po Fah-vo
by Charlie Geer
Lately much has been made of the “Mediterranean diet”: the olive oil, the fresh fish, the fruits and salads that, when combined with a penchant for walking instead of driving, keep most Mediterranean folk healthier than, say, most American folk. Here at Noted Abroad we feel compelled to mention a lesser known, particularly Andalusian element of the celebrated Mediterranean regimen. In addition to seafood paella, homemade gazpacho, and fresh-squeezed orange juice, Andalusians just love to eat, well, terminal consonants. Around here, adios is not pronounced “ah-dee-OSE”, but “ah-dee-OH.” An autobus is not an “au-toe-BOOS”; it’s an “au-toe-BOO.” Ayer is not “ah-YAIR”, but “ah-YAY.” Por favor is not “por fah-VORE”; it’s “po fah-VO.” Seems that when you’re hungry, you’re hungry, and with so many consonants available, why stop with food? Really it’s kind of amazing that obesity isn’t a major problem in Andalucía. Must be the olive oil.
[click to continue…]
Tagged as:
Charlie Geer,
Spain
