High Forehead
by Larry Fondation
For once, I am drinking at a nice place.
The chick across the bar from me has a high forehead. She looks like Elizabeth I.
I want to marry her – or at least run away with her.
***
Most of my friendships are with homeless people. My relationships are short-lived. Not by choice. It’s just that these people move around too much. They’re outside my bank for like three weeks, then they’re gone.
***
Bartending is hard work. Intellectually, I mean. Jill does this thing. She’s so fast. She takes orders, and she pours, and she takes money, and she does it all at once. But she won’t date me. I mean I’ve never asked, but I just know.
***
Downtown, on Skid Row, the girls will go out with me. I like that.
***
I get so embarrassed when I talk to women. I get tongue-tied. Not when I’m downtown. Not on Skid Row. Not at the King Eddie Saloon. I’m kind of a player there.
***
Elizabeth the First is beautiful.
Atypically, I am supremely confident with her.
I ask her out.
She says yes.
On our first date, I ask her to marry me – or run away with me.
Elizabeth – or whatever her name is — is truly beautiful.
She does not agree to marry me — or to leave with me to anywhere at all.
She looks at me funny.
I think I messed up.
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Larry Fondation is the author of four books of fiction, all set in inner city Los Angeles. His most recent, a collaboration with artist Kate Ruth, is called Unintended Consequences, a collection of short stories.
