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Charlie Geer

Noted Abroad

March 11, 2010

Boudoirs in Dark Sky Magazine

Como Se Dice Angelic?

Getting Awkward In the Bilingual Boudoir

by Charlie Geer

They say that if you didn’t learn a given language in the cradle, the next best way to learn it is in the sack. If you really want to learn Polish, for example, date a Pole. Be this as it may, the conjugal bed should not be considered a language lab. It is first and foremost a conjugal bed, and there are much more interesting things to do in a conjugal bed than conjugate verbs.

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Noted Abroad

February 25, 2010

Piggies in Dark Sky Magazine

Oink, Buubuu, Groin

Plahf

by Charlie Geer

In high-school language classes we learn that barnyard animals, like people, speak different languages throughout the world. Take the common pig, for example. While an American pig will oink oink, a Japanese pig will buubuu. French swine converse with a brusque groin groin, whereas Chinese swine favor a more melodious hu-lu hu-lu. For fun with the whole menagerie, check out these international animal sounds.

Curiously enough — and mercifully for undergraduate American piglets looking to satisfy core language requirements — here in Spain pigs speak with a familiar oink oink. Whether the oink originated in Spain, the United Kingdom, or the United States is a matter of dispute: no sooner does one group take credit for coining the oink than the other two denounce oinking as yet another alarming example of globalization gone wild. In any case, British and American pigs vacationing in Spain find it easy enough to communicate with their Spanish hosts, even if the same cannot always be said for their human counterparts.

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Noted Abroad

February 18, 2010

The Police in Dark Sky Magazine

She Hits Everybody

by Charlie Geer

It may pain a writer and confirmed word-nerd to say so, but reading English — as opposed to hearing it, say on TV — will sometimes put a beginning ESL student at a disadvantage, at least when it comes to pronunciation. If it is read more often than it is heard, the word juice might be pronounced “joo-ees,” the word Tuesday might be pronounced “twes-day”; the word built, “bwilt”; the word team, “tee-ahm.” These are honest mistakes. (They may even recall the mnemonic devices you used for spelling tests in grade school.) The student is simply pronouncing the word according to the way it looks.

Just the reverse used to happen in Freshman Comp back home. In Freshman Comp my students would frequently spell words according to how they had heard them. To offer just a few memorable examples from a batch of Othello essays:

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Noted Abroad

February 4, 2010

Noted Abroad in Dark Sky Magazine

Baby, It’s Cold Inside, Part II

by Charlie Geer

Last week we noted that like any other opiate the Andalusian brasero can occasionally put a relationship to the test. We should also note that it is in fact possible for a couple to share the brasero, in the way that a pair of opium enthusiasts might share a hookah. The problem is that on those nights when partners find themselves enjoying the pleasures of the brasero together, slow-baking in harmony, the impending journey from the brasero to the conjugal bed, a.k.a. the “Bed Run,” will eventually weigh heavily. Because the bed is as frigid as the air, and will remain so until one partner dives in and, at the expense of his or her own warmth, warms it up, the question as to who will make the first run can be a serious one.

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Noted Abroad

February 1, 2010

Baby, It’s Cold Inside
by Charlie Geer

Summers in Andalucía tend to be hotter than the winters are cold, and for centuries local building practices have reflected that fact. The white limestone façades and spacious central patios, the stone floors and shady alleyways — in August, a resident appreciates this kind of thing. The problem is February. [...]

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Noted Abroad

January 21, 2010

“Sport” Rhymes with “Boat”
by Charlie Geer
An American ESL instructor in Spain can expect to use not American but British materials in the classroom. The textbooks, the handouts, the CDs and DVDs…all of these will be British. Because the UK is a member of the EU, British materials are both geographically and bureaucratically more accessible to [...]

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Noted Abroad

January 7, 2010

Let’s Just Say
by Charlie Geer
This week Noted Abroad offers a few more examples of found English. We might say the examples are self-explanatory, except that really they are not self-explanatory, or in any other way explanatory. We might say the examples speak for themselves, except that really they don’t speak so much as blather. Let’s [...]

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Noted Abroad

January 1, 2010

A Lovely Day for Sports-da-Fé
by Charlie Geer
Lest we get to thinking that Americans are the only people capable of combining sports and church — see the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, Hunters for Jesus, etc.—here we have a photo from Sevilla that shows the baby Jesus wearing a Real Betis soccer uniform. It’s hard not to [...]

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Noted Abroad

December 23, 2009

A Forthright Fragrance
by Charlie Geer
Some people like subtlety in their incense — a light touch, just a trace of the chosen bouquet wafting about delicately, threading the air. Other people prefer a more candid incense, one that is not ashamed to come right out and take charge of the room: a frank incense. If you’re [...]

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Noted Abroad

December 17, 2009

Funny Looking
by Charlie Geer
“Fany Look” is one of many beauty salons here in Puente Genil. You might reasonably assume Fany Look to be a beauty salon owned by an individual named Fany. It ain’t necessarily so. What the proprietor may be going for with “Fany” is “Funny.” We’ve already seen that, because the “uh” sound [...]

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